Hate #13 - Yelpers.

On Yelp.Com, nothing is safe from being reviewed. You can review almost anything. For fun, I took the liberty of reviewing my local park-lands (since everyone reads reviews about local parks before visiting them):
This local treasure boasts acres of lush green grass and well covered areas which is exactly what you would expect. There was a playground featuring a variety of swings, boardwalks, ladders and stairs which is exactly what you would expect. The patrons were predominantly males. They were very friendly, asking me how my day had been and where I was going. Everyone was lovely and more than happy to chat. I distinctly remember dropping my wallet, bending over to pick it up whereupon an oily penis was inserted into my ear. I then realized that this was a park where homosexuals congregated to have sex in the bushes with each other. After waddling away with a dislocated jaw and sore rectum, I vowed not to venture back to that particular park. Realistically speaking, some people might enjoy this park, however I hope you can respect my subjective opinion when I say ‘It was not very nice’
2.5 Stars.
I like to think that I can take criticism constructively. However, I believe to write a good review it needs to remain grounded to a certain extent and reviewed in contrast to other places in a similar market. Since the reviewers of my workplace were so mediocre at reviewing, they were just ranting into dead airspace (the nerve!), I decided to break my normal neutral demeanor and do some ‘reviewing’ of my own.
My first review goes out to Elena.

I can take that. Credit to you for being a class act…..



So when Steve complained about the prices of drinks in a night club being expensive (who would have thought?), I felt quite indignant taking criticism from someone who thrives on $1 hot dogs and meatballs.
Steve also complained that the staff were ‘pretty douchey.’ I can’t imagine any situation where the staff would interact with Steve unless he were paying the door charge or buying drinks, in which case I’m sure he would try to pay with the moths hovering in and around his wallet and complain when moths were not accepted as currency. I’m sure the staff could only withhold their disdain against Steve to a certain extent in such a scenario.

Old Renee complained about the younger age level of the clientele in my workplace. I couldn’t quite make sense of this as I was under the impression that night clubs were generally frequented by a younger demographic and certainly not by the 30+ out of work mothers demographic. Should all 30+ mothers leave their children at home so they can go clubbing to keep Renee happy? What do I know? You tell me Renee.
Some days, I think that I shouldn’t be so petty and vindictive…








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